Adventures in Tutoring

Hi. I haven't posted in a while. Sorry.

So, I've been tutoring this kid for a couple years. The other day I was encouraging my student to do some writing, so I decided to write with him to teach by example and keep from distracting him.

So I asked him to give me a prompt. Now, he has learned that Batman is kinda my favorite, because . . . well, he's the Goddamn Batman and he runs around Batmanning the hell out of Gotham City. What's not to like?

My kid though, he's a Spider-Man fan, so he tell me I have to write an essay about how Batman sucks. Here it is, reproduced in its entirety for your enjoyment (Warning: leave your rational brain out of this, please).

Frankenstory

It's been a while, but Yellow and I are back.

If it begins, it begins with a letter. And if it begins with a letter, the letter should look like an "A" but sound like a "Q" with a speech impediment. So here, where it begins, I ask you: When these thoughts cause pause for plosive stops, how is it you ignore the tremors but ride out the aftershocks? Are we only safe in the aftermath, a line of taillights waiting for guidance from someone in a reflective coat? But then question comes, is it the fabric reflecting, or the person? Representation or consideration? The questions, like the letters, are out of order and cannot be trusted. So for now I'll flip the "B" on its side and wear it like coke bottle glasses and swim these troubled cees just a bit longer. The cipher lies in the "A," because we must always start from the beginning.

Today's things that don't make much sense to me

1) A Time magazine editor was suspended indefinitely today for calling Obama a dick on live TV. During the suspension, the editor must eat all his lunches in the principal's office, and is not allowed to go out to recess for at least a week. Do you remember where you were the day you realized that most adults still lived by the rules of the playground?

2) Charlie Sheen admitted to using steroids during the filming of Major League. He said it got his fastball up from 79 to 85 mph. My first impulse was to say "so what," but then the absurdity of it all set in, so now I just laugh. Apparently he hadn't learned of the benefits of tiger blood just yet.

National Poetry Month, Day 30 - the end

Here is a taste of what I'll be up to now that poetry month is over. Thanks for reading the past month, it's been fun.

***

STREET NOISE. A BALCONY. SATURDAY.

the pieces come from different places you know

but right now we’ll just pause on one

and let it breathe

because this one deserves forgiveness.

give four people the same photograph of this street

and ask them to crop the image any way they’d like.

take them[1] and immediately put them in an envelope.[2]

for now we’ll consider this collecting evidence,

but remind me about it later

because it won’t mean anything

until we make it unfamiliar.

---

[1] but avoid folding them and cutting them into snowflakes. The point is not that each image is unique, but that the choice meant something different to them than it did to you.

[2] This is how I want you to think about possibility.

National Poetry Month, Day 29

We were overdressed
in the shower,
giggling at the blood
stains on our jackets.
*Two hours before
I said you had a choice
to accept the situation
and enjoy yourself
or whine about your hair.
**I spent ten minutes
trying to assign you
the significance
of this image, but
instead
I'll just accept it
and say thank you.

*Unsatisfying ending
**Sentimental ending

National Poetry Month, Day 28

We'll leave it at this for now
and what it looks like tomorrow
after we've got a little sleep
behind these screen-burned eyes.

National Poetry Month, Day 27

I'm thinking about empty threats
and how many times I'd have to use them
as we surveyed the northern border
thirty-three feet at a time
just because some king felt
like drawing a line.

Speaking of lines, I read a poem
on some website today, found it
thanks to StumbleUpon.
There were three on the page,
I dug the first one and got bored

But that's beside the point,
which was the comments section
and some guy lambasting the poet
for writing banal sentences
with arbitrary line
breaks and calling them sentences.

It'll be days before I can get that comment out of my head.